There is a trapdoor in my ceiling.

 I’m pretty unhappy about it. I live on the second floor of a two-story apartment building, and as far as I know, there is little to no attic space above my ceiling. Which means that this trapdoor must open directly onto the roof. I see this as undesirable.

 The thing that upsets me the most about it is that it wasn’t there two days ago. I’m not sure if it was there when I woke up yesterday morning; maybe it was and I missed it, but I know for a fact that I never saw it until I got home from work last night, and there it was, nearly in the middle of my living room ceiling, slightly obscured by the ceiling fan.

 I have issues with the ceiling fan too, but at least it didn’t sneak up on me.

 Since you haven’t seen it, you’re probably trying to come up with a rational explanation, like a burglar climbed up on to my roof while I was out or asleep and cut a hole downwards to let him or herself into my place and steal all my stuff, but this trapdoor is far more sophisticated than that. It isn’t jut a simple hole. It’s a full-on door, with a frame and a latch and hinges, the whole nine yards. It’s a door that somebody took some time making. I just don’t know when. Or who. And the one thing they didn’t do was provide an obvious way up to it – my ceiling is at least seven feet off the ground, and like I said, the door is pretty close to the center of the room. Maybe there’s a ladder folded up inside of it, that would come down if the door was opened. I don’t think I’m going to find out, though.

 I haven’t said anything to my husband about it because he hasn’t said anything about it to me. I’m a little worried that I can see it and he can’t, which would add a whole new level to the problem that I am frankly not prepared for, especially if the door ends up going away again on its own. That’s kind of what I’m hoping for. I don’t think that that’s what going to happen.

 It’s supposed to rain tonight, and if that thing does just open up onto our roof, there’s going to be some serious damage to the coffee table, and maybe the couch. I always hated that couch. I wonder if we can afford a new one?